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How did
I get to 427 pounds? Here I am, about 25 years old, and it is two years after having my daughter. I had to
go into the hospital for some routine blood work. I remember the nurse asked my weight, and I told her it was about
350 pounds. She looked at me with dismissal. She suggested that we take my weight "just to see".
The regular scale didn't work (oh great!), so they pulled out a "special" scale. When the scale said 427
pounds, I thought this has to be someone else's life! This cannot be me! It was me. Jenna Vaught, and
I weighed 427 pounds.
Growing up, I was the
fattest child, fattest teen, and became the fattest adult. I faced insult after insult since I can remember. Struggle,
yes I know something about it! Trying to get through the day without eating too much or looking for comfort in food. Even
as a child, I would spend all day thinking about food and how I could eat right for that day. The result: I would
starve myself all day, then binge at night. The more lonely I became, the fatter I got. Not to mention the fact
that I had a pretty hefty bout of asthma that landed me unlimited trips to the E.R. and days within the airconditioned house. I
have the perfect recipe for morbid obesity: isolation, self-loathing, inactive, and lonliness. I
did not just become overweight, but I had a major eating disorder to go with it. I was a compulsive binge eater, who
used food as escape for every stress or problem in my life.
Yet through that, I
still tried to remain positive and successful. I really believed somewhere, even if no one else did, that my life was
worth something, and I was going to "make it" in life. In school, I had to work hard to have teachers and
friends overlook my "fatness". No one believes you are smart when you are the biggest blonde girl in the room
and school. Proving myself was going to be an uphill battle. But I knew that I was more, so despite every single
road block that was created by others or myself, I had to plow through it. Since a child, I have kept a diary.
Nothing has changed within that diary. I wanted only two things: Lose weight and become a doctor. Both of
which, I believed for a long time, I would never achieve.
Weightloss therapy at
the age of 5, a Weight Watcher at 9, Lane Bryant clothes at 12, and graduating high school in a size 26 pair of jeans.
It just kept getting worse. I was allowing my weight problem to rule my life. On the outside, I was always trying
to appear in control and confident but inside, I felt like I was dying. The day I had to walk into a college class wearing
house slippers because shoes would not fit, I never believed could happen. The day I had to request the University to
supply me with a "special" chair in my classroom, I never believed would happen. Weighing in at 427, I never
believed would happen. That day, seeing that number....I WOKE UP!
Seeing
427, it jolted me. I knew it was only a matter of time that it could say 527. So, I stopped making excusses.
I stoped listening to the ugly words from myself and others. I stopped believing that I wasn't good enough.
Basically, I took some time, and I started to get "right" with myself! No longer was I going to allow others
to influence me. I wasn't going to listen to the people telling me I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, sexy
enough, smart enough, worthy enough for a good life. I said goodbye to the ugly thoughts, and focused on what I had!
I had everything right there with me. I was beautiful, even at 427. I was smart, even at 427. I was worthy
of real love, even at 427. I could be a doctor, even at 427.
The first
thing I did, was cut out the sugary soda. I was sucking down about 1200 calories a day in soda. Then I pulled
out old Weight Watcher books and followed the plan. All of this was in secret, I was too scared for people to make criticize
me or roll their eyes at me. Then, I got the courage to go back to Weight Watchers, begin working out. First,
I couldn't even go a fourth of a mile, eventually up to a mile, then I started doing home fitness videos. Five or
more years later, I have lost over 190 pounds. Since losing the weight, I have even completed a half marathon run/walking!
This coming from the girl who couldn't find shoes that fit to go to class! I am still working on losing atleast
50 more pounds. My weight has been maintained at about the same weight for 20 months now. I have really
taken a great effort to make further changes to get the scale falling again, and I am confident I will be at the 200 pound
loss by the New Year.
Losing
weight is about making different food choices and more fitness. For most though, I believe the heart of weight loss
comes from getting "right" with yourself. You can diet and exercise all you want, but if you do not overcome
the internal battle that leads you to overeat, you will just gain the weight back in the end. It's about making
a lifestyle change from the inside out. I mean this in the most serious way, if I didn't change from within, I would
be that 400 pound woman again. The food is just the symptom of something else.
Today, I workout
on average 60-90 minutes, about five to six days a week. This is mostly a combo of run/walking on the treadmil or outdoors.
I also do love the crosstrainer and aerobics class, I also do strength training about twice a week. Strength training
is something I am increasing even more because I know I am lacking. I really try to consume a balanced diet, and I avoid
fast foods. I really have grown to love healthier choices like fresh fish, chicken, all vegetables, fruits, and good
fats. When I don't workout and eat right, I feel moody, depressed, and tired. Yet, I still eat what I want
when the time is right, just the right portion. In the past, I wouldn't think twice about eating half of a cake or entire
pizza. That is just unheard of now. I still get the urge to overeat when I am stressed, sad, depressed, or anxious.
Most of the time, I find ways to get out of the situation, at times I don't. That is something I work on everyday.
What do I do when I screw up? Just pick up and make a better decision in the next moment. It's hard, but that
is how true weightloss remains. My weightloss journey has not ended, and I love my new life. I know that I have
all it takes to be great in this life, and there isn't a scale out there that can say otherwise. I wish everyone
the best of luck, and feel free to email me if you have a story to share or comments for me... Jenna
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